Thursday, April 9th
One day at a time.
Okay folks. I’m done. So done with this quarantine thing.
I’m bored. I’m restless. I’m getting cranky. I’ve had enough.
Yes, I know there are wonderful aspects about this whole thing. Yes, I know there are a lot of people who have it much worse than we do and that we are blessed.
It’s still hard.
I haven’t written in a while because really, there isn’t anything to report. Every day is basically the same with variation on food and maybe the preschooler’s entertainment.
I’m longing for some website work. Unlikely to happen, considering the financial outlook right now.
My husband is still making bread. We just finished our last commercial bit. It’s all homemade till we venture to the store again. That won’t be for at least a week. Probably two. Possibly even three. (It’s been two already.)
Our pellet grill is broken too. (Big tears – especially with having perfect grill weather) We’ve been waiting for about two weeks for the part to arrive via USPS. it’s been delayed for four days out there somewhere already. <sigh>
Last week, my mother’s beloved Sheltie, Jewel, had to be put to sleep. She was really sick. We are all very sad about this, but my mother is utterly heartbroken. And I can’t go comfort her.
My aunt passed away yesterday after a battle with cancer. The funeral is tomorrow and this stupid virus is keeping me from going. It makes me very unhappy, to say the least. All of my cousins were present when my father passed and I can’t be there for them. It’s not fair.
What are the things you miss the most from “before”?
For me – you’re going to laugh at this – it’s going to the grocery store. I miss hunting for the best produce, and great deals. And the time alone away from the house. Yes, of course I miss my family and friends and I’m terribly disappointed about our Easter gathering being dismissed. There are other niggling little things driving me nuts too but I’m dealing with them. I despise being scared to go be with my mother or have any friends over. And my little one is officially bemoaning the fact that he can’t see his grandma and wants to go back to preschool. (Oh child. If only you knew how much I wanted you to not be stuck with us all day too.)
I also miss having focus. Every day is so filled with constant distractions from the preschooler I’ve about given up on doing anything productive. Meals are the highlight of the day and half the time those don’t even taste all that great. I wanted to take this gift of time and come out better on the other end. Some of my lofty ideas were:
- Teaching the kiddo some great new things – like how to count to twenty, or write his name
- Cleaning/organizing/working on some part of our home
- Creative at-home date nights
- Finish our yard that’s been a burden to deal with since we moved in
- Expanding my own set of skills in some way with online tools
- Getting all the stuff around the house listed on Mercari/Ebay/Etsy that’s been sitting around waiting for me
- Reading more, blogging more, just doing more.
Ha! What a joke. Guys – I’m not even holding the status quo and it’s very depressing. I’m exhausted all the time. I’m distracted and unmotivated. I’m in despair about all the hard work I’ve done with my diet over the last two years that’s steadily being erased with rice and bread. I cry almost every day for absolutely no obvious reason.
So. Yeah. I’m over it. How about you?
In the news today:
- We now have 1,106 cases in Kansas. There is no talk of things going back to normal.
- The hospitals are doing layoffs and salary reductions. Unemployment has skyrocketed – in every state. This isn’t special here.
- There is a milk overage and the toilet paper crisis continues. Gas prices are still falling. They are well under the $2 mark here and $1.10 where my husband works.